Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
