I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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