Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
