So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
