i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
