We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
