If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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