Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
