Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
worst night to have a conscience
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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