Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
