I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
