i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
