my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You can't special order awesome
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
