once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
