i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
