Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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