The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Man, jail baloney is awful.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
