I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
