let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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