thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
