the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
