Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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