i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
