this beer tastes like vomit already
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
