She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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