I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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