You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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