Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
