Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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