If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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