I wanna bring you to show and tell
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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