I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
