Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
