you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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