8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
