I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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