did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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