So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize