super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
