I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
