What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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