all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
