As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
