If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
