Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize