ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
