OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I didn't notice because vodka
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
