My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
