I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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