we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
