all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
