Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
