I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
