carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize