"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize