No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
