i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
