So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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