just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
