I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize