i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
