wrigley field is MILF paradise
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
