so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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