I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
