It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
